What mother’s day means to me 2007

Can’t thank Mark Levin enough for playing ‘what is love,’ that old disco tune from SNL, as bumper music on his show tonight.

I really needed to laugh badly tonight because I finally, recently, found out what empty nest syndrome truly means.

You see, both of my kids are graduated from college now. Took one a little longer than the other, but that’s ok. No special scholarships granted meant working harder and longer to qualify for loans on all of us and some inevitable postponements. But all has been accomplished. The degrees are on diplomas now.

I never quite felt the ‘syndrome’ when they went away to college; yes, I got pherklempt; but I didn’t lose it for hours or days. I’d get a little teary eyed when they’d come home to visit and go back to bigger, better places.

I’d ask, what’s wrong with these other people, these wimps; what’s their problem? What are they talking about?

I liked being alone, I liked it that the kids were out of the house; I still had my hubby here, after all. A little less laundry, a little less cleaning, a little less cooking…

I actually worried a little less, too, because I didn’t know everything that they were doing, when they were getting back to the dorm or apartment or what they were doing from minute to minute [studying, hopefully, a little?].

Now I’m panic stricken; they’re both employed, they’re not really coming home again. Not like ‘normal.’ They’ve truly moved on.

My daughter’s employed at her school; she’s only three hours away, but she’s far too busy running a department to come home just at the drop of a hat. She’ll be there for a year and plans on moving very far away after that. That will be another blog…

My son’s about to travel now to a job in another state quite far away; much more than the two hour drive I’m used to him driving to come home.

They could come home, I could cook, I could bake, I could do their laundry… all those mundane, typical, stereotypical things that moms could do that were appreciated.

This pain is very new and something that’s thrown me completely for the whole week. It’s actually been quite debilitating. A new phase? Phase, schmaze! It sucks to be a mom.

So, true, I’ve been, like, crying for a week. Spouting off to anyone at work that would listen and offer consolation. Holding my heart, saying, “Esther, it’s the big one,” trying to joke and make light of it. Trying to stop myself from crying because a blubbering idiot isn’t pretty. But not complaining to my hubby; couldn’t quite admit that to him until tonight. After a glass or two of wine….

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll survive. I’m happy for them. I’m proud of them. And my hubby’s still here. Pity him, eh?

Ahh, motherhood. Cutting those strings, wishing them safe flights into their futures. Fancy that.

I saw a lawyer on TV the other day advertising for a class action lawsuit against the makers of the cat and dog foods that have recently been the cause of many pet illnesses and deaths across this nation. DON’T DO IT, PEOPLE! If you join such a lawsuit, the most you will get out of it is a lousy coupon for cents off a bag of a new dog or cat food product by the makers of the same dog or cat food that just killed your pet! The lawyers will get millions and you’ll be left with NOTHING. I say, sue them on your own. At the least you should have all your medical bills paid for the care of your pet due to their negligence. If your pet dies, you should get your deceased pet replaced for free. You should then get free medical care for that new pet for the life of that pet.

Get rid of class action law suits. Don’t participate in this one if it comes your way. Just say NO!

What I saw in an abortion clinic many years ago at the cusp of the women’s movement, was pain, vomiting, blood, tears, nonchalance, repeaters, calm and fear, regrets and gratitude, justifications. I saw only one man that showed up to be with his woman for her procedure. Before you stereotype, they were a black couple. The rest of most of the women in the clinic were white. At the time I was pro-choice and I stood by my friend without wavering. Years later, in my first pregnancy, I felt my son move inside of me for the first time. It filled me with an awe of such magnitude, I realized that what was inside of me was a “life;” not a mass of tissue, but a miracle; a new human being that I had helped to create and was responsible for. After my first sonogram where I heard my son’s heart beating, I literally floated home; I do not remember walking. Had I known what the procedure was going to be, I would have had my husband there with me. He was sorry he missed it too, so he went with me the next time. What a gift to someone who actually never received any “real” sex education in school. How times have changed.

As an aside, it’s interesting to me that pro-choicers are often also the same crusaders that are animal rights activists, anti-death penalty activists, anti-war activists, and/or global warming fear mongers. Animals are more intelligent than and therefore have more rights than humans; killers have historical circumstances beyond their control and therefore have more rights than their victims; enemies of this nation disagree with or were victims of our policies and therefore have more rights than our own citizens; every weather problem is our fault, dammit and, if you disagree, you are an uneducated dolt, to hell with the cost to fix what’s probably normal and unavoidable earth changes. The fatal outcomes of these causes might not be their stated intents, but are certainly often results caused by liberal actions.

Pro-lifers are automatically assumed to be right wing religious fanatics and therefore easily and often dismissed. My belief is, if you are going to throw how-to-do-it-education and condoms at kids in school, on TV, and in the movies, then be honest with them about what exactly it is they are doing: creating a human life that they must then decide if they will protect or destroy. Give kids reasons to be responsible with whatever choices they make. Well, having said that, would I have listened to anyone at that age? Perhaps; perhaps not. I admit I was very naive and also at times very lucky. But not getting all sides of the story, all facts of the features, that is the greater threat. And when the “choice” issue came out when I was walking into the golden age of women’s liberation, the fact that it was a “life” was certainly not provided. Thank God I never had to make that “other” choice.