What mother’s day means to me 2007

Can’t thank Mark Levin enough for playing ‘what is love,’ that old disco tune from SNL, as bumper music on his show tonight.

I really needed to laugh badly tonight because I finally, recently, found out what empty nest syndrome truly means.

You see, both of my kids are graduated from college now. Took one a little longer than the other, but that’s ok. No special scholarships granted meant working harder and longer to qualify for loans on all of us and some inevitable postponements. But all has been accomplished. The degrees are on diplomas now.

I never quite felt the ‘syndrome’ when they went away to college; yes, I got pherklempt; but I didn’t lose it for hours or days. I’d get a little teary eyed when they’d come home to visit and go back to bigger, better places.

I’d ask, what’s wrong with these other people, these wimps; what’s their problem? What are they talking about?

I liked being alone, I liked it that the kids were out of the house; I still had my hubby here, after all. A little less laundry, a little less cleaning, a little less cooking…

I actually worried a little less, too, because I didn’t know everything that they were doing, when they were getting back to the dorm or apartment or what they were doing from minute to minute [studying, hopefully, a little?].

Now I’m panic stricken; they’re both employed, they’re not really coming home again. Not like ‘normal.’ They’ve truly moved on.

My daughter’s employed at her school; she’s only three hours away, but she’s far too busy running a department to come home just at the drop of a hat. She’ll be there for a year and plans on moving very far away after that. That will be another blog…

My son’s about to travel now to a job in another state quite far away; much more than the two hour drive I’m used to him driving to come home.

They could come home, I could cook, I could bake, I could do their laundry… all those mundane, typical, stereotypical things that moms could do that were appreciated.

This pain is very new and something that’s thrown me completely for the whole week. It’s actually been quite debilitating. A new phase? Phase, schmaze! It sucks to be a mom.

So, true, I’ve been, like, crying for a week. Spouting off to anyone at work that would listen and offer consolation. Holding my heart, saying, “Esther, it’s the big one,” trying to joke and make light of it. Trying to stop myself from crying because a blubbering idiot isn’t pretty. But not complaining to my hubby; couldn’t quite admit that to him until tonight. After a glass or two of wine….

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll survive. I’m happy for them. I’m proud of them. And my hubby’s still here. Pity him, eh?

Ahh, motherhood. Cutting those strings, wishing them safe flights into their futures. Fancy that.